Why do Some Kids Always Get Bullied?

  1. According to some studies, children with autism spectrum disorders are bullied around five times as often as their “neurotypical” peers. People with autism spectrum disorders may not recognize social cues, which makes them seem awkward or incompetent to others. Often, children seize on such things as the basis for bullying.
  2. Children with lower social and communications skills are often targeted for the same reason, regardless of the group they are placed in. Whether their challenge comes from modeling a low-skilled parent, from a sensory disability such as poor eyesight, or from using a certain information processing style — doesn’t matter: If their communications patterns, abilities, or styles are different from their peers they are likely to suffer exclusion or other bullying.
  3. Children may take-on the identity or social role of “victim”. Once they accept that role, they will tend to behave “in character”, even in new surroundings, and become likely to always be bullied. This adoption of social role may be due to previous bullying experiences, usually compounded by adult mismanagement of those situations.
  4. Children all have the same needs — including the need for social status. Bullying experiences can lead a child to identifying into a “victim class” as part of their natural search for a strategy to fulfill that need. Adult mismanagement of bullying can help establish a victim-class-status — leading to that strategy functioning in symbiosis with one or more bullies. Each party achieves some boost of social status through their ongoing shared drama, and the target will always be bullied.
  1. The visceral reaction around a desire to protect a harmed woman or child is rather intense. And, intense emotions cloud analytical observation, critical thinking, and understanding.
  2. A person acting as “defender of the weak” lays claim to an elevated social status based on that role. Defending the weak from blame is conveniently less risky than defending someone from any actual attack — and less taxing than studying and understanding complicated subject matter.

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John Bailey

John Bailey

Live life at 100 smiles per hour!