Understand Bullying: Overcoming Shame

The Simple Picture:

Following are four steps in graphic format. Have a look at all four, and read the text. Then, you’ll only need to remember the last one.

  • from homicide to running for your life
  • from pushing into line to giving-way
  • from a bold step forward to a timid step back
  • from making an offer to making a compromising counter-offer

The “Curse” of Shame:

A person who believes themselves cursed will become hyper-aware of every mistake, misfortune, and missed opportunity. And, as they become stressed-out about that, they make more mistakes — and so forth. An internet search reveals “the top ten signs of being cursed”:

  1. Nightmares
  2. Loss of energy
  3. Misfortune of loved ones
  4. Financial or property loss
  5. Relationship trouble
  6. Deterioration of health
  7. Legal trouble
  8. Direct perceptions of being cursed
  9. Sudden and serious illness
  10. Death

Challenging Shame:

As far as I can tell, we all fear unworthiness. Those with shame have convicted themselves of it.

Building Self Esteem (the anti-shame):

I did a post earlier in this series on building self esteem. I hope you check it out again in context with the above, and find new perspective and value in it. Use the information there to inoculate your children against shame — by filling them with self esteem, the anti-shame!

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